Growing up in an Iyer family!
As I start writing this blog, I think of the various small things that are particular to the upbringing in Iyer families. The first thought that comes to my mind is that I am part of a sect that has practised non-violence and vegetarianism for centuries, that believes in Advaitha and chants the‘Gayathri Mantra’. And that I am part of this wonderful unbroken tradition of 7000 to 8000 years.
As Iyers, our life is based on the teachings of Adi Sankara, the doctrines in Bhagavad Geetha, Vedas and Upanishads. We pay obeisance to our gurus Adi Sankara and the Sankaracharyas of Sringeri and Kanchi and other great people like Ramana Maharishi, Sai Baba. We usually have a photo of the gurus in our house and visit them when we can. We believe in rebirth and karma yoga and bhakti margam.
Being an Iyer, using the credentials of Gothram,Vedam, sub-sect(Vadhyama, Vadama etc) and my grand parents names gets me connected almost instantaneously with another Iyer anywhere in the world. If I were a man, I would wear a Poonal. I grow up in a house-hold where my father, uncles, grand-fathers, bothers do Sandhya Vandanam thrice a day. My father recites a few manthras before eating his food and circles it with water. We have a pooja-room or Swamy-ul and most of our families had/have Siva Poojai. The men-folk chant Vishnu Sahasranamam, Rudram, Chamakam, Purusha Sooktham, Sree Sooktham etc. while the ladies chant Lalitha Shasranamam, Thirupugal etc.
We follow a certain life-style. We wake up each morning and after the daily ablutions have filter coffee. After this we put Kolams, followed by a bath, then lighting the ghee/oil lamps and incense sticks and doing a small pooja – be it just reciting slokams for a minute. We grow up hearing elders singing slokams, bhajans and keethanais. We visit various temples and have the concept of ‘Kula Daivam’.
We believe in Sudham or purity. This means we give a lot of importance to bathing. Before Poojai, we have a head bath, we wear ‘Madi’ clothes, we cook food after taking bath. Echil, Pathu, Theendal are some of our fast disappearing habits but at least we know someone who practices these hygiene based tenets.
Being a married woman, I wear the Pottu on my forehead. I also wear the Mangala Suthra, Metti(on my toes), bangles and ear-rings usually in gold. All girls wear Pottu, ear-rings, bangles and a chain. We love adorning our hair with flowers and love silk sarees. We wear Podavai or sarees.
We give kumkumam & thamboolam(vethalai paaku) to ladies who visit our house. Men wear chandanam and vibudhi, women wear manjal & kumkumam.
We eat strictly vegetarian food, avoiding garlic, onions and eggs. Rice, Sambhar, Podutool(vegetable curry), more kozhambu, vetha kozhambu, Kaalan, Olan, Kootu, Poricha Kozhambu, rasam, parupu usili, parikka pittala etc are some of our main day to day cuisines. In addition, we have the sweets like payasam, mysore pak, thenga burphi, boli, sughiyan, appam. We do Vada Malai for Anjaneyar, Kozhakattai, Appam and ‘kootu’ for Pulayyar. We make Payasam, Appam, Vadai on festival days or when rituals take place. Our tiffin items include – idly, dosai, adai, ukma, pongal etc. Most of our food is home-made even today.
We believe in total abstinence from alcohol, smoking and drugs and people with these habits are looked down upon. We believe in celibacy until the wedding day and fidelity to our married partners through out life. We do not believe in re-marriage and divorce.
We grow up being told stories of Ramayana, Mahabharata, Bhagavatam and stories about different temples. We are great patrons of carnatic music and Bharata natyam.
We draw kolams in front of our houses every morning and in our Pooja. This dying art form involves beauty, symmetry and the ability to think in terms of 2d spaces.
Festivals and rituals are our main stay. We celebrate Pongal & Kanu, Nombu, Siva Rathri, Tamil New Year & Vishu, Sree Rama Navami, Krishna Jayanthi, Pullayar Chaturthi, Avaniyyavatam, Gayathri Japam, Navarathri, Deepavali and Karthikai. Each of these festivals are distinct and prayers are held for different reasons and to different deities. Padineetam Parukku is another dying festival.
We have Thevasam, Mahalayam and Tharpanam to remember and honour our ancestors (three generations on each side). We also have the Sumangali Prarthanay and Naandi before the Poonal for similar reasons.
During Karkataka Masam, we have Ganapathi Homam and Bhagavadi Sevai. We also have Mavallakku and Vallaku Vaipu(deepam for Thirupathi Balaji), Murugan festival(Panguni Uttaram).
Pradhosham, Pournami, Ekadesi , Amavasya are important days of the month. We follow the Panchanjam to decide the auspicious days for wedding etc. We know about Rahu Kaalam.
We usually do not have pets at home except the cows. We speak Tamil at home.
We have a lot of rituals - from conception to death. During pregnancy we have Seemantham Pumsavanam, followed by the naming ceremony a few days after a baby is born, poonal for boys, therendavali for girls on reaching puberty, wedding ceremonies, shastiabda boorthi, satabhishekam, kanaka bhishekam and funeral ceremonies. We have a family Vadhyaar or priest, who conducts the rituals for us.
We give a lot of importance to our relations, usually living as joint families. We have special names for each of our relations – from Athai, Athimber, Thatha, Paati, Mama, Mami, Periappa, Periamma, Manni, Akka, Anna, Thangai, Thambi, Kozhundan, Nathanaar etc. And during the wedding all the elders get involved and have a definite part to pay be it Athai, Nathanaar, Anna or Mama. Arranged marriages are the norm. Though we are allowed to marry cousins( Mama’s son, Athai’s daughter etc), marriages between families of the same Gothram are not allowed(treated as a marriage between bother and sister).
Marriages are arranged by elders- a lot of thinking about compatibility, prosperity and happiness, health, progeny goes on. Parents seek the help of relations and friends to find out about the family history – specifically about diseases, mental health, general behaviour etc. Horoscopes are matched to check for compatibility, health, progeny, longevity etc. And ‘pariharams’ are done to tide over bad times.
Our weddings are elaborate 4 day rituals that celebrate a wonder communion. These days it has been shrunk into a 2 days – starting with Vratham, Kappu Kattal, Nischayathartham & Mappilai Azhaippu on the 1st day. The second day starts with Kasi Yathrai, Oonjal, Kanya dhaanam, thali, spatha padi, seeing the arundathi nakshathram, nalangu and kattu chaadam.
We participate in Kumbhabishekams, Yaagams, Maha Rudram, Rudrekadasi, Sastha Preethi and other religious gatherings. We belong to a Samooham(like the one in Trikkur village) and we have attended religious discourses(Thethiyoor Periyava, Anantha Rama Deekshitar or of late Sundara Kumar).
We participate in Valli Kalyanam, Radha Kalyanam, Seetha Kalyanam. During Navarathri, we have Golus in our house and invite women for Vethalai Paaku. We do Kummi and Kollattam dances during Navarathri.
We know what a Palaghai is. We know that an Aarathi symoblizes the end of a Pooja, of Theertham and Prasadam.
During eclipse times, we fast. We have food about 4 to5 hours before the eclipse and after the eclipse is over, we have a bath and then cook fresh food. We put pieces of darbha grass in milk, curd etc before the eclipse starts and we remove them after the eclipse.
We know of Agraharams in Palakkad , Mylapore, Thanjavur, Trichur, Kozhikode and Trivandrum. We have heard of M.S.Subbalakshmi. We have names like Lakshmi, Sita, Raji, Uma, Meenakshi, Kamakshi etc. We know of Punya Jalam, GoMuthram and Ganga water. We know of chanagam(cow-dung) and its purifying properties.
Being an Iyer to me means homes smelling of coffee, freshly ground chandanam, ghee, swami padams, payasam and incense sticks. It means carrying the vibrations of thousands of years of manthra japam in my genes. It means carrying Advaitham in my blood and the hope of a recourse to it any time I choose to. It means living a simple life of lofty ideals and also of ideals that came well before time like 'Adithi Devo Bhava' and 'Loka Samastha Sikhino Bhavanthu'.
As Iyers, our life is based on the teachings of Adi Sankara, the doctrines in Bhagavad Geetha, Vedas and Upanishads. We pay obeisance to our gurus Adi Sankara and the Sankaracharyas of Sringeri and Kanchi and other great people like Ramana Maharishi, Sai Baba. We usually have a photo of the gurus in our house and visit them when we can. We believe in rebirth and karma yoga and bhakti margam.
Being an Iyer, using the credentials of Gothram,Vedam, sub-sect(Vadhyama, Vadama etc) and my grand parents names gets me connected almost instantaneously with another Iyer anywhere in the world. If I were a man, I would wear a Poonal. I grow up in a house-hold where my father, uncles, grand-fathers, bothers do Sandhya Vandanam thrice a day. My father recites a few manthras before eating his food and circles it with water. We have a pooja-room or Swamy-ul and most of our families had/have Siva Poojai. The men-folk chant Vishnu Sahasranamam, Rudram, Chamakam, Purusha Sooktham, Sree Sooktham etc. while the ladies chant Lalitha Shasranamam, Thirupugal etc.
We follow a certain life-style. We wake up each morning and after the daily ablutions have filter coffee. After this we put Kolams, followed by a bath, then lighting the ghee/oil lamps and incense sticks and doing a small pooja – be it just reciting slokams for a minute. We grow up hearing elders singing slokams, bhajans and keethanais. We visit various temples and have the concept of ‘Kula Daivam’.
We believe in Sudham or purity. This means we give a lot of importance to bathing. Before Poojai, we have a head bath, we wear ‘Madi’ clothes, we cook food after taking bath. Echil, Pathu, Theendal are some of our fast disappearing habits but at least we know someone who practices these hygiene based tenets.
Being a married woman, I wear the Pottu on my forehead. I also wear the Mangala Suthra, Metti(on my toes), bangles and ear-rings usually in gold. All girls wear Pottu, ear-rings, bangles and a chain. We love adorning our hair with flowers and love silk sarees. We wear Podavai or sarees.
We give kumkumam & thamboolam(vethalai paaku) to ladies who visit our house. Men wear chandanam and vibudhi, women wear manjal & kumkumam.
We eat strictly vegetarian food, avoiding garlic, onions and eggs. Rice, Sambhar, Podutool(vegetable curry), more kozhambu, vetha kozhambu, Kaalan, Olan, Kootu, Poricha Kozhambu, rasam, parupu usili, parikka pittala etc are some of our main day to day cuisines. In addition, we have the sweets like payasam, mysore pak, thenga burphi, boli, sughiyan, appam. We do Vada Malai for Anjaneyar, Kozhakattai, Appam and ‘kootu’ for Pulayyar. We make Payasam, Appam, Vadai on festival days or when rituals take place. Our tiffin items include – idly, dosai, adai, ukma, pongal etc. Most of our food is home-made even today.
We believe in total abstinence from alcohol, smoking and drugs and people with these habits are looked down upon. We believe in celibacy until the wedding day and fidelity to our married partners through out life. We do not believe in re-marriage and divorce.
We grow up being told stories of Ramayana, Mahabharata, Bhagavatam and stories about different temples. We are great patrons of carnatic music and Bharata natyam.
We draw kolams in front of our houses every morning and in our Pooja. This dying art form involves beauty, symmetry and the ability to think in terms of 2d spaces.
Festivals and rituals are our main stay. We celebrate Pongal & Kanu, Nombu, Siva Rathri, Tamil New Year & Vishu, Sree Rama Navami, Krishna Jayanthi, Pullayar Chaturthi, Avaniyyavatam, Gayathri Japam, Navarathri, Deepavali and Karthikai. Each of these festivals are distinct and prayers are held for different reasons and to different deities. Padineetam Parukku is another dying festival.
We have Thevasam, Mahalayam and Tharpanam to remember and honour our ancestors (three generations on each side). We also have the Sumangali Prarthanay and Naandi before the Poonal for similar reasons.
During Karkataka Masam, we have Ganapathi Homam and Bhagavadi Sevai. We also have Mavallakku and Vallaku Vaipu(deepam for Thirupathi Balaji), Murugan festival(Panguni Uttaram).
Pradhosham, Pournami, Ekadesi , Amavasya are important days of the month. We follow the Panchanjam to decide the auspicious days for wedding etc. We know about Rahu Kaalam.
We usually do not have pets at home except the cows. We speak Tamil at home.
We have a lot of rituals - from conception to death. During pregnancy we have Seemantham Pumsavanam, followed by the naming ceremony a few days after a baby is born, poonal for boys, therendavali for girls on reaching puberty, wedding ceremonies, shastiabda boorthi, satabhishekam, kanaka bhishekam and funeral ceremonies. We have a family Vadhyaar or priest, who conducts the rituals for us.
We give a lot of importance to our relations, usually living as joint families. We have special names for each of our relations – from Athai, Athimber, Thatha, Paati, Mama, Mami, Periappa, Periamma, Manni, Akka, Anna, Thangai, Thambi, Kozhundan, Nathanaar etc. And during the wedding all the elders get involved and have a definite part to pay be it Athai, Nathanaar, Anna or Mama. Arranged marriages are the norm. Though we are allowed to marry cousins( Mama’s son, Athai’s daughter etc), marriages between families of the same Gothram are not allowed(treated as a marriage between bother and sister).
Marriages are arranged by elders- a lot of thinking about compatibility, prosperity and happiness, health, progeny goes on. Parents seek the help of relations and friends to find out about the family history – specifically about diseases, mental health, general behaviour etc. Horoscopes are matched to check for compatibility, health, progeny, longevity etc. And ‘pariharams’ are done to tide over bad times.
Our weddings are elaborate 4 day rituals that celebrate a wonder communion. These days it has been shrunk into a 2 days – starting with Vratham, Kappu Kattal, Nischayathartham & Mappilai Azhaippu on the 1st day. The second day starts with Kasi Yathrai, Oonjal, Kanya dhaanam, thali, spatha padi, seeing the arundathi nakshathram, nalangu and kattu chaadam.
We participate in Kumbhabishekams, Yaagams, Maha Rudram, Rudrekadasi, Sastha Preethi and other religious gatherings. We belong to a Samooham(like the one in Trikkur village) and we have attended religious discourses(Thethiyoor Periyava, Anantha Rama Deekshitar or of late Sundara Kumar).
We participate in Valli Kalyanam, Radha Kalyanam, Seetha Kalyanam. During Navarathri, we have Golus in our house and invite women for Vethalai Paaku. We do Kummi and Kollattam dances during Navarathri.
We know what a Palaghai is. We know that an Aarathi symoblizes the end of a Pooja, of Theertham and Prasadam.
During eclipse times, we fast. We have food about 4 to5 hours before the eclipse and after the eclipse is over, we have a bath and then cook fresh food. We put pieces of darbha grass in milk, curd etc before the eclipse starts and we remove them after the eclipse.
We know of Agraharams in Palakkad , Mylapore, Thanjavur, Trichur, Kozhikode and Trivandrum. We have heard of M.S.Subbalakshmi. We have names like Lakshmi, Sita, Raji, Uma, Meenakshi, Kamakshi etc. We know of Punya Jalam, GoMuthram and Ganga water. We know of chanagam(cow-dung) and its purifying properties.
Being an Iyer to me means homes smelling of coffee, freshly ground chandanam, ghee, swami padams, payasam and incense sticks. It means carrying the vibrations of thousands of years of manthra japam in my genes. It means carrying Advaitham in my blood and the hope of a recourse to it any time I choose to. It means living a simple life of lofty ideals and also of ideals that came well before time like 'Adithi Devo Bhava' and 'Loka Samastha Sikhino Bhavanthu'.