Love marriages

Well, love or arranged marriages? This has been a topic of discussion for ever.

We all love to see understanding couples and their families, it is one of the most beautiful things to see. No wonder it has been praised in literature, in movies, in music and art and in architecture. Love and relationships make the world go around as has always. 

So, in Bharata Desam in Sanatana Dharmam, this relationship between a man and woman was held the most sacred and it was one of the longest of rituals performed in a person's life. Every varnam developed their particular customs and their rules, with good genes and health predominating along with character and priciples. Money was needed to live a decent life and in fact many chose not to marry their children into wealth, since wealth does not equal health, happiness or progeny.

The common man until the previous generations chose to marry within their same Varnam, so it was easier for the couples to adjust, family skills are passed on. For eg. a sculpture would marry within a sculpture community, ensuring the long honed skills would continue to live and flourish. So both the Vrithi(work-skills) flourished along with relationships. Sadly both the expertise be it Ayurveda, weaving, sculpture, carpentry and the many skills are now dying along with relationships.

Today, the Varnashramam has been replaced by Money and probably good looks, appearances. As long as the other side is well heeled, educated and easy going, everything else is ok. Iyers have too many rules and the kids will also have to follow the rules and rituals, who has time these days; is the argument. 

People also mention how they are above Varnam and all these don't matter, they are liberals implying others who follow these rules are archaic or retro and should seek to expand their minds. If Varnashramam was a criteria for all previous generations, for the liberals in this generation - money or the good looks (of the bride especially) seem to be the only criteria. A case of the kettle calling the pot black?

This argument from 2005, is still valid - if one of the kids chose to marry say a Dhobi who earns less than 100Rs in those days, would the caste not be a point to moot? Or if in the US -  a Mexican, Black American or Chinese or someone unemployed & with no money? This is what I hear from friends & cousins, the so called liberals - a white person is acceptable, others are not. In which case, the relationship would no longer be acceptable and the parents would have rushed to the Gurus or Astrologers or family elders to seek advise.

Sadly, it is money & convenience winning the race currently in many familes, with traditions and expertise sacrificed at the altar of matrimony.

Chapter-1 of Shankaracharya’s Gita verses 40–43