Handling Disagreements
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Disagreements are an inevitable part of life, no two people are the same, no two people can agree 100% on all the infinite things situations or people in life. So learning to accept that disagreements are here to stay and will crop up anytime is one of the main aspects of life.
We live and want to live with others harmonioulsy. And that depends on how one disagree with others - this template determines the overall quality and happiness of their life. Others will always be a part of our life - as family, colleagues, neighbours, freinds and community.
My father used to say: with a smile, a twinkle in his eye and with no hard feelings; let us agree to disagree. He used to say it is the situation I disagree with, not you the person. He ruled from a place of love and led a happy content in life. My father was not alone in this, there were many in his generation who had the lubrication of good manners, tact and decency to hear the other person's views without judgement.
I see a sea-change in the way we handle disagreements since my childhood days. Be it in politics, community or family, we seem to have lost the ability to disagree respectfully. My way or no way seems to be the mantra.
The polarization that is happening in politics now across the world is an example. Previously members of opposite political parties used to be friends and treated each other with respect and used humour to diffuse situations. In an emergency situation, they would come together and act as one.
In families the rising divorce rates, disagreements amongst parents, children and siblings are on a rise and they show how we are unable to process disagreements in an amiable and amicable manner.
In workspaces, toxic work culture within team members is increasing.
Life is a teamwork be it Family, School, Work or Community. Healthy differences are not only important but necessary.
Learning to be a good team player with given take is the need of the society today in every sphere. In a team one plus one is always greater than two not equal to two.
It is so important to learn how to agree disagree respectfully, sort things by listening actively and giving the other person a chance to respond. It is important to take the time to process these things and not be in a hurry and not to treat disagreements as a sign of hatred or disrespect but as another perspective. And to not escalate a small thing into an avalanche of shouting and insults.
Disagreements are here to stay as is good teamwork. De-escalation of tensions and working them out is the need of the hour in family and in politics if we have to survive as a human race.